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It took Paul Colaianni losing what he loved many times over to realize what was causing his issues so he could begin to correct them and share his findings with the world!

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Paul Colaianni and I met through Facebook groups for podcasters and when we got started talking I knew I had to have him on Dreamers Podcast. He has gone through a lot in his life. Thankfully for him and the rest of the world Paul has opened up to let us know how he has dealt and grown as a person from his days of a child in an alcoholic household.

This is the longest episode of Dreamers Podcast ever and it is well worth it! The knowledge packed in this episode is very eye opening for anyone who hasn’t come to turns with the frightened child in them. Paul Colaianni and I talk about the differences between introverts and extroverts as well as how to deal with people talk but never listen in a conversation.

I really hope you enjoy this episode, I know I had a ton of fun having Paul Colaianni on as a guest and look forward to having him join me again!

More About Paul Colaianni

Back in 2005, I went through a breakup of a 13 year relationship. It was quite a shock to my system. One night she told me she no longer loved me. The next day, she moved out. And shortly afterwards, I fell into a depression.

I got hit pretty hard. I didn’t realize how much I took being in a relationship for granted. I was so comfortable (and naive), I didn’t see any of the warning signs. The first few months of my depression, I was just trying to stay afloat. I didn’t really have my own identity without her in my life. So I wandered around awhile.

I kept working, but it was always dark and lonely inside my head. I thought the best thing to do would be to find someone else with which to share my life. So one day, I joined eHarmony. After all, I love being in love… so maybe this was a good way to meet the woman of my dreams.

Well, I met someone and we hit it off right away. She lived 3000 miles away, so I had no clue how it was going to work out. But, after we met in person, we knew we had to be together (none of this long-distance relationship stuff). So a few months later, I moved to California to be with her.

Well, after living together a while, we realized there was this one big problem: I was still depressed! And it was hitting me pretty hard, which made her think she might be better off without me. She told me she wanted to leave. That was what it took to break me completely. Suddenly, everything I hated about my life came out in tears. I was having a huge breakdown.

However, something shifted in me that night. All the crying and talking helped me release so much, that I felt quite peaceful afterwards. It wasn’t over, by any means, as I was still depressed. But I realized that all that expressing about what was truly on my mind, made a huge impact on the both the thoughts in my head, and my emotional well-being.

So I started exploring personal growth, psychology, and communication. I learned, and became certified in, brain sciences such as hypnosis and neuro-linguistics. I learned meditation techniques on how to clear my mind, and be present. And, as I was healing myself, I learned how to communicate with others in such a way that they would also transform.

Unfortunately, my marriage did not survive my personal growth journey. By the time I worked through many of my issues, it was too late. She left. The hardest part about the end of my marriage was that we had separated to work on ourselves to be better people for each other when we got back together. And as my issues were disappearing, which was one of the main causes of the problems in our relationship, her love for me was also disappearing. And as I grew closer and more in love with her than ever before, she told me she was no longer in love with me at all.

This was a true test of everything I learned about myself. But even today, I am at peace with just about everything that happens to, and around me. I’ve learned to stay mindful and present. It’s rare that I feel stress or overwhelm, because I address it as soon as I start to feel any discomfort. I’ve gotten more in touch with my emotions, and have learned to balance both the nurturing, receptive, feminine side of me, and the assertive, confident, masculine side (we all have both within us). It is this balance, along with staying in the ‘now’, that has brought more peace into my life than anything ever has.

I now help others break through their own negative thought-stream to live a stress-free life. By hosting The Overwhelmed Brain, I have been able to reach thousands all over the world. It’s truly the fastest way to reach the most people. And although it’s rare that I coach one on one anymore, I still follow my passion of helping others by sharing my knowledge and experience with whomever needs it.

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Episode 158